Joy. I get to come up with 135.00 by the 15th so I can defer on my loans again. Ugh.

Seriously, I think now that if I had a choice when it came to college with AIP I may not have gone. Student loans are a nightmare. Especially since I can barely make ends meet right now. I suppose a call to the 'rents and grand'rents is in store to see if I can get some financial help.

There is a lot of not happy going on right now.

FINALLY! Sorry that it took so long for me to get around to this. DA has been the least on my mind, hence my long absence.

I got my results from the doc, and I have a clean bill of health. No cancer. YAY! It was actually a nurse that laid my fears to rest because what she said to me made sense. "If the lumps hurt that's good. It means it's normal breast tissue. Cancer doesn't hurt."

That got me thinking. She had a very good point. Cancer isn't really part of you and wouldn't have any nerves in it.

:/ It's a shame that a doc couldn't have told me that a while ago so I didn't have such a freak out.


Also.... 'm still car-less. That may be remedied soon, though. I'd just need to default on my loans again so I'd have the money for a car...

Ah well. I'm still working on the pinup calendar. Woot! I have most of the images sketched out, I just need to finalize them, scan them, and color.

Still no car, though that's the least of my worries.

I'm hoping that the 15th gets here soon, yet I don't want it to come. Seriously, it's nice to know that something is wrong with you, but there are times you're just like, "Why is this something I have to worry about? Why should I worry about it? I've been good(ish) person... things like this shouldn't happen to good people." Except they do, and it rarely happens to the assholes that deserve it. At least I hope that they'll get their comeuppance in the next life.

As for what I'm talking about...

I'm not certain if I mentioned it here or in another journal of sorts. Back in February I went to the doctor for my physical. There was a small lump on my chest. It was small, about the size of the pencil eraser. There were two more small ones like that. The doctor told me to come back in three months, but with how busy I've been and lacking a car, I haven't had a chance to swing by there until now.

Aw, c'mon, Rotzi, small li'l bumps on the chest aren't nothing to worry about...

...yea, right. Not only have they grown, it's moved to the other side, and there are seven. I just really want to find the closest rock to crawl under and just pretend that it's happening to someone else.

I called my mum today to tell her the news. While I don't want to seem like an emotional, clingy child, she has offered to come to the doctor's with me, and I'm probably going to take her up on that offer.

Kinda funny. I always wanted a breast reduction... Careful what you wish for, kids. Fate has this -great- sense of humor.

At least I have a bottle of Bailey's and a bottle of Absolut at home that are unopened. I figure I can celebrate if it's something minor, or drink a little while depressed, get disgusted with myself for doing it, and come out stronger to find a way to fight through it if it's something major.

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Update
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I went to the doctor and I've been scheduled for an ultrasound of my breasts and a mammogram. I'll give an update for what happens.

On July 16th after my post something happened to my computer at work. It rebooted itself and then took ten minutes to allow me to log back onto my systems. When I got back on there were 34 viruses on my computer. I got into some big trouble at work and they started monitoring everything I did, claiming that I went to nsfw sites. Tch. Seriously, I have more class than to look up porn or what have you while at work.

In any case, when I got back online deviant art was blocked. According to IT the viruses spawned from here. It very well may be that -- gods know that there are a lot of ads.

In other news, James is still in the shop with a short. My brother is coming to get him today. I've only 2.26 to my name, and thank the gods that I managed to get my student loan payment in for the month.

Now I just need to save up for new glasses and a doctor's appointment due to some issues with some lumps on my breasts. I'm hoping for the best but since breast cancer is kind of in the family.... yeeeeea. Outlook not so good at the moment. The doctor comes first. Then the glasses, that much is for certain. I can suffer with the contacts.

About the glasses -- two days ago I was practicing with my bo staff for the first time in ages. I ended up catching it wrong and whacking myself in the face. It's just the nose-guard on the glasses that broke, but still... I haven't had a new set since 2003...

Ah, fun times.
Well, teh rotzi is gone for now. Take care, all. Maybe my roomies and I will get the internet at some point so I can update more.



In another note, the highlight of my night last night was.... yeeeeea... Apparently I found out I can bury my face in my boobs. I was vaguely amused by this, and even told my roomie. Actually, what I told her was "Hey! Look! I can motorboat myself!" followed by "...I just drooled on my tit. *snickersnort*". That had her in a five minute laughing fit.

Ooookay then. Apparently I'm cursed. I went out yesterday to pay my sister's cell phone bill (I'm probably far too nice for my own good) and go to get mice for my snake since Kali hasn't eaten in over a month -- not for the lack of me trying. I pass Monro, the garage I deal with, and remember that I do need a front end alignment and an oil change, but right now I only have the money for my snake.

In the middle of the turn, just as I pass the garage, James starts shuddering, sputtering, then dies. AGAIN. Gyaaaaa!! I manage to have enough momentum to pull into the Harbor Inn (really awesome seafood restaurant, by the way) and stop him in their empty parking lot. Not. Fun.

Granted, I had my moment of laughing at the irony. I went over to Monro after leaving my brother a message. The mechanics there were like "What!? It's working again? And you're BACK!?"

Yeeeeeeeea. It was amusing, but, dammit!, I want my care to WORK for more than a week!



So, uh, with that said... I'm probably gonna do the 5.00-10.00 sketch commissions. Any takers?